2:42 PM
alone* in the rain;
bloody hell...went thru my hsbc account online last nite, i almost died coz my heart seemed to keep failing to beat, the balance in my account was 96 pound...bloody bloody hell, and proceeded to go thru my statements and so bloody bloody someone had stolen my money and that was 1100 quid! bloody bloody, to the account of some rakis usalis thru internet.kinda scary coz never exposed my security or watever to anybody. went to report the matter to the bank,they will take 5 working days to bloody investigate...bloody bloody bank ey. there u go...my whole account gone. my family is coming to visit me on thurs...now i'm money-less...wat a misfortune.. pray to God i'll get my muuuney back. thanks frens who care. now time to study..for exammsssss....pray pray pray
8:57 AM
alone* in the rain;
yesterday during dissection class i finally had the guts to cut the cadaver. i did a good job for a first-timer, after a whole term, now only i cut meh? but anyway, i found the splenic and hepatic arteries yippppeeee....though the demonstrators said it was hepatic when it was splenic. i can never trust these tutors anymore, coz they confuse me many times. from now on, anything straight away ask pat okay??? ;)
7:16 AM
alone* in the rain;
errr....am i an emotional overeater?
wasn't, but now a BIG yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh
bila tensi buat apa?
binge-eating yeay yeay!
baru je nak kurus balik huhuh.. i hate school!!!! school sucks!!
9:50 PM
alone* in the rain;
people say i think too much, about things that do not need many thoughts, well am a philosopher=thinker okay?
a very good fren of mine, mentioned to me, how she browses frenster when she's sad and sees how all her frens have changed so much throughout the years of knowing each other. it occured to me a while ago, about people i know around me, people i used to go to school with, people i go to school with now. most of them are in steady relationships, some might just be out of the relationships, some still broken from past relationships, some in and out of relationships, many who are not quite sure what the status of their relationships are, a few who just cannot be bothered about it or maybe pretend not to bother even when they actually do and most who are just waiting for the right guy/gal at the right time, yet not quite sure the real definition of the 'right time'. most of us are in our early 20's .. people from those days before us, would be married few years back and would have had several kids.
but here we are, still in school, having the time of our life, not even half matured, trying to figure out the heads and tails of our lives, well, maybe just in my case, maybe my other frens would hav all these things sorted out by now...fuh...
i thought about it, about this whole relationship thingy, everyone wants someone to spend their life with, to care for and basically all these come down to L.O.V.E. the one cliche we hear everyday in songs, movies, read in books. each one wants love for different reason, one might want love for its security, being with someone means having being cared for, love for money, love to get independence, all for a variety of reasons. as i said, i thought about it, and i finally got the reason to why i want love.
i want to have someone to belong to. all my life, i dont know where i belong, always the 'floating' type, moving from place to place, one clique to another, never quite knowing if i belong somewhere or if anybody wants to take me in so i won't be 'floaty' anymore. probably the main reason why i want love-to have that sense of belonging. so when i get lost i know where to turn to, not just spiritually coz i know God is always here for me whenever i get lost and hav no one to turn to, but just someone i can hold and get comforted from, someone who would say its okay when i screw things up, someone who is just there, to whom i can run to, to whom i may belong.
for this reason, and more, i think i deserve to have love too. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or the day after, maybe not in this life or the life after, but i'm pretty sure someone out there is looking for me too, as i patiently wait for him.
right now i'm starting to take school as seriously as possible so that school will take me seriously too, maybe then only i'll get good grades huhu...but to whomever it is that i belong to, come pick me up at the lost and found box at the reception okay? i'll b the one with that patchy, scarred and broken heart, i'll wear a pink flower on my hair and holding Smokey, so u'll recognise me. come soon coz i can't stand all these heartbreaks and i need you to be by my side.
7:28 PM
alone* in the rain;
yesterday i attended this maulidur rasul celebration, organised by malaysian societies here in leeds. we did some selawat, listened to Quran recitation and had a talk about hadith by this ustaz from manchester. i learned a lot: no doubt about that, tho tiny glitches, eg. starting not really on time, were unavoidable. however the food really really made up for all the then-becoming-more-insignificant-glitches. heheh..
anyway, thought i share this with my fellow blog readers, the hadith that we normally hear, i mean, commonly quoted : "Tuntutlah ilmu hingga ke negeri China" tu, its ma'dhu, in other words: bogus, fake, the Prophet never said this. which reminded me the time when i was 9 or 10, i asked the reasoning to the China part of the hadith, why would the Prophet want us to go to China to study when many people want to go to UK instead? why don't we all go to China to study ey? but i stopped qestioning, maybe because i did get some pretty good answers for a 9-yr-old. anyway... even if China was one of the earliest civilised empire in those days, it is still kinda irrelevant because isn't Islam a religion that is relevant anytime of any day, any month, any year, any decade and any .... i forgot wat comes after decade :P
adios peeps...back to school work... urm.. no...today my flatmates and i are going to tesco to do our grocery shopping. tons of school work..and i was up early, for my exercise routine which i couldn't afford to do during the weekdays plus i was up early to wait for sami to come back... so much to talk about...
mental note:
Nutrition & Energy, SSC, more more school work, exams, my family coming, finals, Iris coming & my birthday yeay!
8:51 AM
alone* in the rain;
first week of school, enough to drive me up the wall, tho no licence to drive up the wall, i don't care, i wanna drive up the wall gak tak kira nak gak!!!!!
i had a nice appraiser for my anual appraisal, sucks that i nearly fell asleep while he was giving me tips to revise lecture notes.muahahah....but he was extremely nice so i did let him know that..
11:42 AM
alone* in the rain;
